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Article 129 bro code dating, funny stuff

A Bro shows up at another Bro's party with at least one more unit of alcohol than he plans to drink. Exceptions — If the Bros are within 7 degrees latitude of the equator.

The Bro Code - Barney Stinson - Google Books

A Bro shall be kind and courteous to his co-workers, unless they are beneath him on the Pyramid of Screaming Article When hosting, a Bro orders enough pizza for all his Bros Article This is when a bro most needs his bro to remind him that there are plenty of chick in the ocean and that a breakup need not be hazardous, stressful or even time-consuming.

A Bro shall never rack jack his wingman Article It's called the Bro Article 129 bro code dating, not the Slob Code. Unresolved disputes over the Bro Code may be submitted to the International Court of Bros at barneystinson barneysblog.

So if a Bro plans on chugging a six pack, he shall bring a six pack plus at least one can of beer. A Bro never leaves another Bro hanging Article If a Bro should accidentally strike another Bro's undercarriage with his arm while walking, both Bros silently agree article 129 bro code dating continue on as if it never happened.

He is not expected to be on time, help with luggage, or inquire about his Bro's trip or general well-being. If a Bro spearheads a beer run at a party, he is entitled to any excess monies accrued after canvassing the group Article A Bro magic man band quotes flirting always psyched.

A Bro will drive another Bro to the airport or pick him up, but never both for the same trip. When questioned in the company of women, a Bro always decries fake breasts. If a scenario arises inw hich a Bro has promised two of his Bros permanent shotgun, one of the following shall determine the copitot: A Bro will drop whatever he's doing and rush to help his Bro dump a chick.

When in doubt refer to the check list for bro-proofing your home. If the Bro has a note from a physician excusing him from having anybody's back Article Bros don't cuddle Article A Bro may ask for directions from a hot chick even if she also appears lost.

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If a Bro must crash on his Bro's couch for an extended period of time, he shall offer to split the cost of toilet paper and the cable bill if said period exceeds two weeks.

This is more commonly known as "a bachelor party. My stomach was churning, my joints were achy, and I was beginning to get the chills.

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Violating this code is worse than killing a Bro. If it's still unavoidable, they shall prevent any incidental spoonage by arm wresting to determine who sleeps under the covers. A Bro reserves the right to simply walk away during the first five minutes of a date.

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If a bro lends another bro a DVD, a game, or a piece of lawn machinery, he shall not expect to ever get it back. A Bro doesnt sing along to music in a bar. If both call dibs at the same time, the Bro who counts aloud to ten the fastest has dibs.

While a bro is not expected to know how to change a tire, he is at least required to drag out the jack before pretending to assess the flat.

Footrace to the car.

The Bro Code - Stinson Barney

A Bro is never offended if another Bro fails to return a phone call, text or email in a timely fashion Article The mom of a Bro is always off-limits.

A Bro never leaves another Bro hanging Article Likewise, it is unacceptable for two Bros to share a motorcycle, unless said motorcycle is equipped with a sidecar When interrogated by a girlfriend about a bachelor party, a bro shall offer nothing more than a disinterested "Mmh, it was okay".

A no-holds-barred cage match to the death. A Bro never wears socks with sandals. A Bro checks out another Bro's blind date and reports back with a thumbs-up or thumbs-down Article A Bro can never bring a camera back from a bachelor party.

In the event that two Bros lock on to the same target, the Bro who calls dibs first has dibs.

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Bros don't speak French to one another Article A bro may toss The Bro Code out the window if Scandinavian twins are involved in any capacity.

A Bro pretends to understand and enjoy cigars. Its called the Bro Code, not the slob Code. If you are a woman reading this, first let me apologize: If a Bro learns another Bro has been in a traffic addident, he must first ask what type of car he colleded with and whether it got totaled before asking if his Bro is okay.

The Bro Code

A real Bro doesn't laugh when a guy gets hit in the groin. In a scenario where two or more Bros are watching entertainment of the adult variety, one Bro is forbidden from intentionally or unintentionally touching another Bro in ANY capacity.

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I grabbed my phone from the table next to my bed so I could figure out what time it was. If a Bro is on the phone with a chick while in front of his Bros and, for whatever reason, desires to say "I love you" he shall first excuse himself from the room or employ a subsonic barry white-esque tone Article This includes but is not limited to, exercise shows, womens athletics, and on some occasions surgery programs.

A Bro never applies sunscreen to another Bro Article A Bro never reveals the score of a sporting event to another Bro unless that Bro has thrice confirmed he wants to hear it.

A bro doesn't listen to chick music If a Bro learns another Bro has been in a traffic addident, he must first ask what type of car he colleded with and whether it got totaled before asking if his Bro is okay.