Dad's rules for dating his 5 daughters go viral: 'You'll have to ask them' - ABC News Dad's rules for dating his 5 daughters go viral: 'You'll have to ask them' - ABC News

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Giphy Aw come on, Dad!

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I think if his scary, soft intensity was shifted ever so slightly, it would be comedy gold, instead of terrifying and alarmist. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. Please do not arab man dating traditions this.

My daughter is getting ready, a process than can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is: I may appear to be a potbellied, balding, middle-aged, dimwitted has-been.

Old folks homes are better. It is usually understood that in order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day.

More on teens dating. As soon as you pull into the driveways you should exit the car with both hands in plain sight. Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden tool.

This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to introduce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka zipped up to her throat.

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Being submissive to our parents. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your car in the driveway for a chopper coming in over a rice paddy near Hanoi. There are two ways to watch this video — as a wonderful SNL-style joke, or as a serious Christian warning to all the sexually maturing teens out there.

Do not lie to me. Giphy Here, Dad uses a metaphor of walking through a pig farm in a white suit, and how it's impossible not to get dirty doing that.

If you make her cry, I will make you cry. Take a look and you'll see what I mean. I was impressed with the evident way Fred loves his wife, Kim, and his children. All it needs is a laugh track to make us realize how his mistake is hilarious, and totally not what he meant to do. Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness.

Do not lie to me. Avoiding parties and people that will compromise my convictions. Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden tool. He had this checklist of appropriate dating behavior, but it was mostly filled with things like, "Always bring a gift offering to me before taking my daughter out.

Dad's 'Rules' For Dating His Daughters Have A Refreshing Twist | HuffPost

My daughter is getting ready, a process than can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge. Please do not do this. Pin There's a Fifty Shades of Grey joke here that's just dying to come out.

You do not touch my daughter in front of me. His passion for the word of God and for Christ our Savior is evident. However, in order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact, come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.

I think some more metaphors about virginity being a precious gift, or a delicate tulip, would be comedically apropos here. Tweet Pin My dad had a funny trick he liked to play on prospective boyfriends of mine.

Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you.

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Perhaps a shot of the daughter after this weird moment looking horribly confused would help lighten the mood? Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: The "no sex before marriage" rule.

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It's clear that he's written something down, but when he gets to things like being "turned on," he simply can't speak without getting noticeably flustered.

As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. Hockey games are okay.

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Old folks homes are better. I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five acres behind the house. Earlobe dresses are all the rage right now!

And while I certainly found the '90s-dated look to it funny, it was difficult not to feel for that poor girl who actually lived under this father's absurdly conservative rule book or as he calls it, the Bible.

Honeydew Wilkins via YouTube Another stunning edit on Dad's part makes it sound like he's saying being a slut is a stone's throw from being killed.

Trending News: This Dad's Rules For Dating His Daughter Are Going Viral

For example, how many euphemisms can he come up with for "turned on? Why do you have to be so behind the times? The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: I would very much appreciate a flashback to that moment here. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck.

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And how can it be fun and enjoyable? You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck.

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I can totally see how the making of this video went down too. You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object.

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Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to introduce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka zipped up to her throat.

But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless god of your universe. Giphy If he stopped growing for any reason, even if it's a genetic disorder, move on, he's not for you.

I will never understand why anyone would want to "reclaim" their virginity. I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips.

This Dad Wrote A Refreshing Spin On ‘the Rules For Dating My Daughters’

But Fred possesses a rich sense of humor, too. Speak the perimeter password, announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early, then return to your car — there is no need for you to come inside. Those are just some of my favorites. So he sets up his camera, comes up with a basic script, and even enlists his daughter, the subject of all this controversy, to be his PSA's guest star.

Places where there is darkness.

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Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you.