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My philosophy of dating is to just fart right away. My inferiority complexes aren't as good as yours. Try our new dehydrated water! When you pass the buck, don't expect to get change back.

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All great ideas have been controversial, at one time. If you're 1 in 1 million, there's of you.

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Infinity is one lawyer waiting for another. The cruelest lies are told in silence. Winners never quit and quitters never win. I've taken a vow of poverty. It just looks like one. Always use your enemies hand to catch a snake. I'm not as dumb as you look.

Your so out to lunch you make me hungry. Weather is what you get. The second purpose is to create some point of further discussion — an icebreaker that provides a prospect with an easy topic to start a conversation. I've had fun before. Don't itch for what you don't intend to scratch.

If it ain't broke yet, let me have a shot at it. The more I learn, the less I know. The trouble with being punctual is that no one is there to appreciate it. Can't learn to do it well? If ignorance is bliss, why aren't more people happy?

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There are 10 kinds of people: A conclusion is what you reach when you get tired of thinking. The eyes are the mirror of the soul.

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Trust me, I'm a consultant. Anything dropped in the bathroom falls in the toilet. Great program, no documentation! The severity of the itch is proportional to the reach.

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Remember that you are unique. Do molecular biologists wear designer genes? The older I get the better I used to be. A lecture on time travel will be held yesterday. Behind every successful man is an exhausted woman The future isn't what it used to be.

You know you're growing older when you look forward to a dull evening. To live well, know the difference between good and evil.

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Atheism is a non-prophet organization. Ideas are not responsible for their followers. Today is the first day of the rest of this mess. Now I can strangle it. If you shoot a mime, should you use a silencer?

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Love is like oxygen - You get too much, you get too high - Not enough and you're gonna die. And the words of the prophets are written on the subway walls.

A critic is a man who leaves no turn unstoned. Cheer up, the worst is yet to come.

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Can't change his mind; won't change the subject. Man who drive like hell, bound to get there. Where the keyboard is mightier than the sword.

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End of Message - Stop reading. The best defense against logic is stupidity. Love like you've never been hurt. Learn to enjoy doing it badly! Man who places head in sand will get kicked in the end.

If at first you don't succeed, redefine success.

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It takes a long time to understand nothing. Always drive slower than your guardian angel can fly. A bird in the hand is safer than one overhead. Silence cannot be misquoted. I'm making a career of evil. Are dog biscuits made from collie flour?

Anything is possible if you don't know what you're talking about. A bort R etry P izza Why don't "minimalists" find a shorter name for themselves? Life is one situation you'll never get out of alive.