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So if you typically wait to be approached, you could elevate your game by about 12 percent points just by sending the first message.

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Yet doing this research unlocked a secret — the OkCupid ecosystem actually puts women at a huge advantage. On OkCupid however, women and men exhibit similar behavior when it comes to liking, browsing and having conversations.

Header illustration by Shawna X. Men, however, message most between the ages of 20 to Designed by Shane Zucker.

No matter how attractive a woman appears, we see similar messaging behavior. Those sending the first message are already getting results.

Most Played Games

Sign up for OkCupid. In the physical world, maybe that means a subtle wink. This means that if a woman does nothing, her inbox will be filled with less attractive men. Or presenting the other with an elaborately carved spoon.

Perhaps they enjoy basking in the glory of being one of the elitely attractive. The truth about messaging When we looked specifically at sending the first message, we found one striking habit: Data Science by Dale Markowitz.

Yet there is one crucial way in which women fail to take the lead.

Do You Like This Game?

Traditionally, men take the initiative. If all women sent more messages, would they get more responses? Others are direct references to penises. Want to be a part of this report, and future ones?

The odds are in your favor.

A Woman’s advantage – The OkCupid Blog

These women are progressive too, with 43 percent of women preferring to split the check compared to 17 percent of men. Most women — regardless of sexual orientation — do not send the first message, with straight woman 3.

The playing field is also pretty even: So how does the quantity of messages received affect women? To put a number on it, men are reaching out to women 17 percentile points more attractive, and women contact men who are 10 percentile points more attractive.

A simple adjustment If a woman sends the first message, everything changes in her favor. In fact, women are 2. So we asked ourselves: On the contrary, men initiate no matter what, and the more messages they receive, the more they send.

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Women rarely reach out, no matter their circumstances. But to get things started, someone has to make the first move.

Written by Kelly Cooper. Rarely do the two collide: