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The statement round was used to determine the "personality" portion. Ok, first, I'd slide up to the bar And tell you that I can't believe how fuckin fat you are! He says women call him stretch nuts. Now I'm naked, except for my socks, and you know when I'm down to just my socks what time it is Satan gave me a taco and it made me really sick The chicken was all raw and the grease was mighty thick The rice was all rancid and the beans were so hard I was gettin' kinda dizzy eatin' all the lard Satan gave me a taco and it made me really sick The chicken was all raw and the grease was mighty thick The rice was all rancid and the beans were so hard I was gettin' kinda dizzy eatin' all the lard 23 Jimmy Buffet - The Asshole Song Funniest Lyric: Tell her that she's fat, yeah, that'll work even better!

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Let's see, hmm, well I'd have to think about it I might show up in a tux, ha! Original version[ edit ] Comedian Pat Paulsen makes a guest appearance in Now he's getting a tattoo. He's a schitzophrenic serial killer clown Who says women love his sexy smile.

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Call a sex line like a boss Cry deeply like a boss Demand a refund like a boss Eat a bagel like a boss Call a sex line like a boss Cry deeply like a boss Demand a refund like a boss Eat a bagel like a boss It's dinner time, we're hearin' grace from your mother I pull a 40 out and pour some for your little brother I'm standing staring at your sister, I'll tell you this You know for only 13 she got some big tits!

I'd probably just show up naked like I always do And look your mama in the eye and tell her fuck you! When the original format returned to the syndicated revival inthese rules were readopted but there was more of a variety between bachelors and bachelorettes.

Anyone who looked at ya, would have to pay I'd be blowin fuckin nuggets off all day! Tell me what you'd do to make that first impression really stay.

Sharon, let's hear your question. After your mom does the dishes and the silverwear, I'd dry fuck her till I nut in my underwear!!!!

The bachelorette would make her choice based solely on the answers to her questions. Host Now let's meet contestant 2, He's a psychopathic derranged crackhead freak Who works in the Dark Carnival.

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Generally the bachelorette would ask questions written in advance on cards to each of the three hidden the dating game funny songs. But in his own mind He's the dopest trip. Yes, a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin' Shes dating the gangster summary I find it's quite a thrill When she grinds me against her will Yes, a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin' Well I find it's quite a thrill When she grinds me against her will 18 Katy Perry - Ur So Gay Funniest Lyric: Let's find out if his charm will work on Sharon.

The remaining versions of the show, which were made for ABC prime-time and for syndication, are assumed to exist in their entirety. Sharon I like a man who's not afraid to show his true emotions, A man who expresses himself in his own special way 2, if you fell in love with me, exactly how would you let me know?

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The same question could be asked to multiple bachelors. Whoever's the smoothest wins! This continued until time ran out.

You'd be jackin me quick! In another variation of the final year in reruns, there were some episodes from ABC daytime, ABC primetime and syndicated weekly.

Host Well it sounds like contestant 2 is just overflowing with sensetivity Sharon, It's a tough choice so far, Sharon, let's have your last question And see which one is gonna win the right to your next date Sharon Ok, if we were at a dance club, And you both noticed me at the same time, Tell me, how would you each get my attention And what would your pick up lines be?

Occasionally, the contestant was a bachelor who would ask questions to three bachelorettes. Or did you work at it your whole life?

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But the meanest thing that he ever did Was before he left, he went and named me "Sue. Hurry up bitch I'm hungry, I smell spaghetti, I'd pinch her limpy ass and tell her get the food ready! In several weeks of episodes that aired at various times throughout the season, another format was used. She had my balls in a vice, but she left the dick I guess it's still hooked on, but now it shoots too quick She had my balls in a vice, but she left the dick I guess it's still hooked on, but now it shoots too quick 15 Stephen Lynch - You Caught Me Spankin It Funniest Lyric: Were you born an asshole?

This format saw the players choose a potential date based on how good they looked and another based on personality. Look, fuck you, I gotta strong rap shit You don't want contestant 2 he's mad whack I walked into a bar, and there he was Standing on a bucket eeeuuugghhh tryin ta fuck it It was a big fucking smelly ass farm llama Damn dogg!

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Peaches come from a can, they were put there by a man In a factory downtown If I had my little way, I'd eat peaches every day Sun-soakin' bulges in the shade Peaches come from a can, they were put there by a man In a factory downtown If I had my little way, I'd eat peaches every day Sun-soakin' bulges in the shade 25 Flight of the Conchords - Business Time Funniest Lyric: Yeah he's gettin' ink done.

After that, your dad would try to jump again And only this time I'd put the 40 to his chin! First of all, I could never love you You sound like a richy bitch, yo fuck you! Guests[ edit ] Some of the celebrities that appeared on The Dating Game appeared as a bachelor or bachelorette before becoming famous or as a special guest star include: But if I did, I'd probably show you that I care, By takin all these other motha fuckers outta here!

Grab your titties, and stretch em down past your waist Let go, and watch em both spring up in your face I'd sing love songs to ya, the best I can Get ya naked and hit it like a caveman Then we'd go through the beach and walk in the sand I'd throw a little sand in your face and say I'm just playin As you spit it all out, I'll fuck your back Grab your underwear and wedge it up your ass crack!!!!

I'd tell ya that I like the way you make your titties shake, And if you lost a little weight you'd look like Rikki Lake. I'd go through your phonebook and whack em all And find contestant 1 and break his fuckin jaw!

Stacy, can't you see you're just not the girl for me I know it might be wrong, but I'm in love with Stacy's mom Stacy, can't you see you're just not the girl for me I know it might be wrong, but I'm in love with Stacy's mom 16 Frank Zappa - Bobby Brown Goes Down Funniest Lyric: When chosen, a new statement replaced the old statement and the potential date explained the reason why that fact pertained to them.

I'd order you a drink, and stir it with my dick And then to get your attention in a crowded place, I'd simply walk up and stick my nuts in your face! Yeah, freak her with your nuts, yeah that'll get her!

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Friends say he's trying too hard And he's not quite hip. Sharon, what's your question?

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Certain kinds of questions were "off-limits", such as name, age, occupation, and income. Your dad would probably start trippin and get me pissed I'd have to walk up and bust him in his fuckin lips!

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But I doubt it. Contestant 1, I believe first impressions last forever, So let's say you were to come over to my parents' house And have dinner with me and my family. I remove my clothes very, very clumsily, tripping sensuously over my pants. He asked for a '13', but they drew a '31'.